Description
Without boundaries we don’t know where we stop and someone else starts. This is true in many areas of life physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Due to brevity I will deal mostly with the emotional part in this section. However I will mention the impact of a lack of physical boundaries to start with. When a child grows up with physical or sexual abuse, a violation of their physical boundaries, it leaves them with confusion about their own identity and boundaries. Some wonder if they have any right to their own boundaries and sometimes become victims of other physical or sexual boundaries breaches in their adult life such as a physically abusive marriage or being raped. Others may go the opposite direction and decide no one will ever get close and hurt them again. They may develop boundaries so strong that interpersonal relationships are very difficult.
In the issues of emotional boundaries we may also wonder if we have the right to even have our own opinion. Perhaps we were chronically put down as children, ignored, or almost never received praise or encouragement. We may be left with the impression that no one would be interested in us or that we have nothing to contribute. On the other hand, in a desperate attempt to gain the approval we didn’t get we may become workaholics or extreme pleasers. In the case of the latter we may indeed find ourselves saying yes when we want to say no. Let’s keep this in perspective. At times we all feel the need, or desire, to go the extra mile and don’t mind helping in a difficult time or crisis moment. I’m not talking about that. What I’m addressing is the person who chronically has difficulty saying no. Often we learn that we get praise for saying yes so we keep on and people expect more and more. Finally we reach a point at which we become exhausted. If we still don’t learn healthy boundaries such as, “Thanks for asking me but I don’t have time to put that in my schedule right now”, we may actually consciously or unconsciously create a boundary by becoming sick, depressed, etc. After all no one would ask someone sick to do something would they? It may work but it is certainly not a healthy strategy.
Remember that God gave you value in and of yourself like everyone else on earth. Be helpful, but keep it in a healthy range. Keep in mind you live in a limited human body that needs rest. Remember that when Jesus lived in one on this earth He had to rest too. In fact there were times when He went up on the mountain to rest and be alone with His Father….and everyone wasn’t healed that He had been working with that day. Even He needed boundaries in His existence on earth and He didn’t feel guilty about it. Neither should you.
Use this Card to…
- Alert you as to when you need to set a healthy boundary in relationships, work, etc.
- Remind you that you need to balance your life not always giving or taking
- Help you remember that NO is not a dirty word
- Monitor your own health if you are doing too much for too many for too long
