What You Focus On Gets Bigger


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Have you ever had a time when you were sitting around alright when suddenly you noticed a sensation in your body that didn’t feel good. Perhaps it was a pain in your right knee or your elbow hurting. As you sat there you began to become more and more aware of this discomfort. Perhaps you tried to tell yourself it was OK but you just couldn’t get your mind off it.

Or perhaps you noticed someone said something that offended you. You liked and perhaps even respected the person but now you seem to have forgotten all the other things they said and all you can do is focus on this. You can’t believe they actually said it. The nerve! The more you thought about it the madder you got. Now you don’t even want to associate with them, much less be friends.

Perhaps, on occasion, it is really worth all this but in most cases it is not. What has happened is that the more you thought about it the bigger it got in your mind until that’s about you could see or think about this person.

Beware of letting yourself escalate on negatives until they become unrealistic. If your elbow or knee continue to hurt long enough see a doctor. If you can’t let go of what a friend said or did, give it some time and if necessary confront them, in a caring way. But watch what you let your mind go over and over, because good or bad, it will get bigger and bigger.

Use this Card to…

  • Remind yourself to focus more on the positives than the negatives
  • Step back and be more objective about something that may have offended you
  • Not panic over a new bodily sensation you don’t understand the first moment you feel it, unless it is clearly dangerous and needs to be addressed immediately