You Aren’t Marrying What They Look Like


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In the sensuous saturated country of America we live in today it is easy to miss the real meaning
of intimacy. We have shallowed it up to the surface appearance of one’s skin. How sad to think we have traded in the potential of true closeness with a spouse for the temporary illusion of closeness.

We know there are at least three typed of “love”. We have eros or sexual love. We have phileo or brotherly love and we have Agape or sacrificial love.

The exciting erotic youthful beauty will eventually fade in a relationship. For some it will be quickly for others it may take some time. But physically, nature will have her way and all the trying to defy aging our culture is obsessed with is only a temporary fix.
Eventually we will have to move to phileo or brotherly love. This is about fun things together enjoying times, sharing interest, etc. From raising children to building a house, starting a business, or just going to a movie it is the fun and challenging times that often either weld us together or push us apart. Ultimately though as time passes on, if we are to enjoy a lifetime of love with our mate, we will have to move to agape love. This is loving someone asking nothing in return. This is a very high and lofty goal for a human being to experience, in fact, I doubt it is even attainable without God’s very presence in us. How do you love a spouse when they are older and can’t do for you what they used to? Maybe it is failing health? Maybe Alzheimer’s?

Having been on this marital journal for over 40 years and having a wonderful wife who has struggled with depression at times though out the years I speak with at least some authority. In addition she has had three bouts of cancer in the last nine years. So how can we be closer than ever after all this time. I can tell you as I stated earlier I don’t believe you can come to this point without the help of God in your heart.

Enjoy youthful beauty and your sexual closeness. Never take it for granted but don’t worship it either for it is fading. Enjoy the moments as you grow together the good, the bad, and the ugly. They are YOUR moments as a couple. Never stop enjoying and appreciating each other. Don’t let the world squeeze the time you need to continue to maintain your relationship together away from you. We work at our work. We work at the gym. We work in the yard. We don’t work at the most important relationship in our lives. Some how it’s just supposed to happen. It doesn’t. Work at this relationship and cherish each day together. Each one, with all it’s ups and downs is a gift to you, like your mate. Enjoy your present today.

Use this Card to…

  • Prioritize your love
  • Make you more appreciative of your mate each day
  • Stimulate ways to show your appreciation and not take your mate for granted
  • Help you love your mate through all seasons of life